How to be a good singleton bridesmaid


Another year of engagement/wedding season is before us and being a bridesmaid seems to come with the singleton territory. If you have female friends, you’re probably going to have to be a bridesmaid at one time or another. Butt bows and bachelorette parties included.

Fortunately, it seems that the butt bows are now outdated. What a relief!

I know all too well how those thoughts of anxiety and jealousy can pop up at inopportune times when your best friend (or younger sister) is getting married and there isn’t even a coffee date on your calendar. So, here are my tips to survive… *cough*… how to be a good bridesmaid when you’re single:

  1. When dress shopping don’t give an opinion that is not the bride’s opinion. Your job is to be supportive. Don’t try to dissuade her from a dress she likes (or even worse a dress that you would have liked to have worn) simply because you’re jealous or trying to assert yourself. Do ask: “What do you think?” then smile and nod.

2. Tell yourself: “This is not about me. I’m doing this for {insert friend’s name here}.” as freak-out, jealous mode arises. (Repeat as often as necessary.) Because it’s not about you. It’s about the bride and her lovely husband-to-be. End of story.

3. Don’t go scrambling to find a date. When you’re a bridesmaid you have things to do. (Like making sure the bride actually gets to eat something at her own wedding.) Entertaining a date will take away from your overall role and enjoyment of the evening. Besides, if you go alone, you won’t even notice half the time because you’ll be busy. (And there’s always a chance of meeting someone nice!)

4. If there’s dancing, dance. If there’s a bouquet toss, do that, too. Don’t be lame and sit out the festivities. Yeah, the bouquet toss is not nearly as fun as those girls who run for it like they’re catching a fly ball in the World Series make it seem but it usually only takes a few seconds. You can deal with that, right? (And no one is saying you can’t just stand in the back of the crowd-like yours truly-and pretend like you’re trying.)

5.  Be a good friend after the wedding. Understand that the bride and groom are going to want to spend a lot of time together. So, it might be up to you to be the flexible one when it comes to getting together. But don’t give up on your newly-married friend. She has a husband but she still needs girlfriends to hang out with!

Good luck my singleton bridesmaid friends!


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