Prior to turning 30 (after 30, they pretty much gave up!) everyone and their grandmother seemed to have some comment or advice to help me get through my single “rut” into a fulfilling relationship with the man of my dreams. And whether or not I was feeling lonely or unfulfilled at that moment, I always came away from the conversation feeling a little inadequate.
Most of the time I’m pretty much OK with the whole single thing. It certainly isn’t my dream scenario but there are things I like about the singleton lifestyle. However, the only time I’m really upset about being single is during “that time of the month.” When “Aunt Irma” is visiting. It’s when I’m curled up on the couch in my fuzzy pajamas eating my ration of brownies and watching a marathon of the sappiest chick flicks in my collection (often sighing over Dermot Mulroney or Colin Firth) that that tissues come out.
” Imagine our female brains like a pie chart. When we don’t know where we stand in relationships, a large portion of the pie is consumed with trying to figure this out, leaving much less room for all the other important things in our lives. At each stage of the game, even if it seems awkward, we really want to know where we stand with you.”
That quote comes from Dawn Walker’s article “5 Things Single Women are Dying for Single Men to Know” at Crosswalk.com. Although it’s addressed to men, it seems like women could find some truth in it as well. Very well-written and some talking points that I don’t think have been so clearly addressed in the past.
Some say that Christmas and New Year’s Eve are the toughest for singles but I would argue that Valentine’s Day deserves that distinction. The whole day is dedicated to couples after all and everything from television commercials to our inbox reminds us relentlessly of that fact. This year I even got an e-mail from a jewelry vendor stating something along the lines of “You’re getting engaged!” in the subject line. (Yikes!) Needless to say, I unsubscribed from that company’s e-mails.
So, how do I make the best of this commercialized and incessant reminder that I am single yet again on Valentine’s Day? The “if you can’t beat them, join them” approach seems to work the best. After so many years of lamenting the day, I came to the conclusion that concentrating outward (and not on my lack of dinner plans or a ring) is the best way to cope.
I ask myself “Who else doesn’t have a Valentine?” or “How do I want to show my loved ones I appreciate them?” and consider how I can brighten their day. This year all my family members and single gal pals are getting homemade Valentine cards mailed to them. And, really, the cards are likely to make more of an impact because most people don’t send Valentines anymore.
How are you embracing Valentine’s Day this year?