As you can probably imagine, I’m just not one of those people who has to date someone (anyone) to have companionship. A marriage would be nice but it’s not necessary to my existence. It took years to come to this conclusion and that God needed to be first in my life.
But I do realize not everyone is capable of living in this perspective. I also know better than most that it is difficult to see a person clearly when you are madly in love with him or her.
Just recently it came to my attention that a friend was dating a really self-destructive person. We’re talking alcoholic with six (yes, six!) driving under the influence arrests. One of them in my friend’s car!
I am literally afraid for her life if she allows him to drive her somewhere ever again. This scenario (even though he is very “nice”) could end very badly. Perhaps even in a deadly accident.
And so it fell to me to say something. We can usually talk about anything (we usually do) but I was scared to bring up the subject (and all six mug shots I had acquired with the background check I ran). Let’s say it didn’t go particularly well. She probably won’t talk to me for a bit. But I said what I had to say after much prayer.
I can’t expect her to leave him this minute and run home, again. All I could do is let her know I love her like a sister and that this guy is bad news… even hazardous to her well-being.
Which is why I would like to encourage you all to say something to your close friends and loved ones (it has to be a close relationship here) if you see a huge red flag in their relationship. There’s no guarantee that your friend will heed your warning (or that he/she will take it well) but it is super-important to make your concerns known in love.
Love is, of course, the key word here. You don’t want to argue or berate. Merely tell the other person you care about them and that’s why you bring it up. No other ulterior motive. Leave the anger and frustration at home (you’ll just push that person further toward the one they happen to be dating).
Here’s praying the friends and family members in dangerous situations come to realize their peril and get out.