Over the past couple of weeks two mature women from church have taken me aside at different times to tell me how proud they are that I have been “selective” in my dating life. They also said they admired how I didn’t just jump into an ill-advised marriage.

How many times do people tell singletons they’re actually proud of them? In my experience, practically never. Conversations about being a singleton with married women generally tends to go the way of “how to stop being a singleton.” (Case and point my mentor who has now taken it upon herself to find me a boyfriend.) No one has ever been proud of me for staying single, before.

I’m not relating this story to say “congratulate me!” or to pat myself on the back. What I’m saying is how lovely these comments were and how much they touched an oddly dormant place in my heart. These women made me a little misty-eyed. My single life has always just been a moderately difficult reality. It never would have occurred to me that there was something in it to be admired.

So, I would like to encourage you all (singletons and marrieds alike) to encourage the singletons in your lives. It doesn’t have to be a cheering section every week. Just let them know they’re doing the right thing by not getting married to the wrong people. There are so many times we feel like we’re wrong or broken somehow that this type of encouragement can mend untold wounds of the heart.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11


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