Be OK by yourself

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Years ago I stood by and watched my two younger siblings get married one right after the other. The impulse was to get the guy I was dating at the time to marry me as quickly as possible under whatever means necessary. (It’s embarrassing being the oldest and still unmarried!)

But, instead, I did what I knew was right and broke up with him. The fact was that I was pretty much just dating him so I wouldn’t look like a weirdo who couldn’t get married. We weren’t a good match by a long shot and marriage would have been awful.

No one makes good decisions out of desperation. In other words: dating someone just to have someone in your life is a bad idea.

First of all, it’s not fair to either of you just to get someone hanging around just to have a significant other in your life. It’s not flattering because anyone would fit the bill and you two aren’t going to appreciate each other the way better matches would. And you could very well be keeping your boyfriend/girlfriend from a really spectacular relationship.

Another problem here is that you probably aren’t ready for a relationship, anyway. When you act out of desperation you aren’t quite in your right mind. You’re making decisions based purely on emotion and that is never a good idea. In the fight to keep a floundering relationship going you might get a little “crazy” and turn into someone you and your boyfriend/girlfriend cannot recognize or respect. You won’t be the best version of yourself or who God intended you to be.

In fact, the whole faith thing would be taking a backseat to your feelings and feelings can be very deceiving. There’s a really good chance that you’ll jump into a really bad situation. A chance that you’ll do things that go against your core values. These issues take a long time to recover from (believe me!) so it’s best to take a step back and avoid them if you can. There will be regrets in your life, certainly, but some of them can be avoided with a little wisdom.

So, my friends, be OK by yourself. Spend some time alone. Get to know yourself sans boyfriend/girlfriend. Spend some more time with God and figure out the right direction to go in rather than what you feel is the right direction. You’ll be a much better partner in the long term when you are settled, calm, and mature. You’ll also appreciate your future spouse a lot more.

Jenn

 

 

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