Recently, a friend of mine delved into the world of online dating. It was kind of fun sharing stories from my dating past and helping her weed through the innumerable profiles. She is now dating a very nice guy thanks to absolutely no help from me.
But I found it interesting that there were a few trends that seemed to come up as we perused profile after profile. And as a woman, I found them major turnoffs (as did my friend):
1) Pictures with other girls. It could be your sister, it could be your cousin, it could be your ex… It could even be a female friend whom you really should be dating! We just don’t know. You think you’re showing us that you’re female-friendly but it’s not coming off that way. Unless the woman is obviously your mother or grandmother (or maybe a two-year-old niece), find another pic.
2) Profiles in all caps or all lowercase with no punctuation. It either reads like you’re yelling or like you don’t really care to put effort into your profile. Neither of those are particularly desirable. If all else fails, use Word (or some other program) to fix the issues for you before you post them online.
3) Photos of your abs. Leave something to the imagination, OK? Men tend to be more visual but I can tell you that women are usually attracted to different things. We need you to get our attention with a little less “show” and a little more “tell.”
4) Instead of telling women what you do want, you’re telling them what you don’t want. One profile I read made the guy sound bitter and kind of sexist because of all the terrible things he said about women from his past. So, stay positive. Talk about good things you’d like in a future partner. If you’re a nice guy who is just a little frustrated due to past experience, you don’t want to sound like a jerk in your profile. Positive guys, attract positive ladies.
5) You sound like you’re expecting to date a woman who is your clone right down to the love of space jumping and extreme frisbee (whatever that is!). There will be a lot more women curious to get to know you if you don’t expect her to act like a dude. (Possibly a dude with a death wish.) Yeah, you’ll need to have things in common but someone can support you in your hobbies and interests without being exactly like you.
Ladies, what other online profile “no-nos” would you add to this list?