One of the most common conversation topics I have with my single friends is that we’re single because something is wrong with us. If we all had just flirted more, lost weight, learned how to cook, stopped spending so much time with other single women, and gotten a nose job, we’d have been married by now.
Which, as you know, is entirely untrue.
There is no magic formula to finding the right person to marry. And it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us because aren’t married. Yeah, being single isn’t quite the status quo among our larger social circle but we shouldn’t be saying that it means we’re more flawed or more broken than the people blessed enough to find a spouse. Everyone is flawed. No exceptions.
Look at your married friends: Are any of them perfect? The answer to that question is a big, fat “no” and you know it as well as I do. Your brother, cousin, and best friend are no “better” than you are as people and do not have some secret talent or quality that makes them more marriageable.
So, what does singleness mean? It means we’re called to serve God without a spouse. That’s it. No subtext or footnote saying we’re really weird or not worthy of marriage because of a crooked nose or outstanding student loans. Again, we don’t lack some secret quality like being born without a “marriage gene.”
The Kingdom of God takes all types. As 1 Corinthians 12 says: “There is one body, but it has many parts… If all the parts were the same, how could there be a body?” Married or single, we all have a place and a purpose in the greater scheme of things. All pieces of the bigger body that needs us and our individual skills and strengths to function.
Instead of looking so closely at ourselves (and what may or may not be “broken”) I think it’s important to look at the big picture. As in: What can I do to serve others? What can I be doing that maybe someone with a family wouldn’t be able to do?