‘Nice’ vs ‘interested’

While I was in school, I was just a nice person in general. I felt it was important to treat everyone with kindness and respect and I smiled a lot. This aspect of my personality, however, turned into a bit of a problem when I began to garner unwanted attention.

One of the very first incidents was the first day of a new semester my last year of high school. I don’t even think I was smiling at this point because I didn’t yet know anyone else in the class. But one guy said “hello” to me when he walked in the door. Being the polite person I was I said “hello” back. Said guy took this as an invitation to sit beside me and ask annoying, personal questions for the duration of the class. You would figure that he got the hint when I motioned to him to be quiet several times but no such luck. He became known as “Annoying Guy” from that day forward.

Annoying Guy bothered me just about everyday for most of the semester. I began to become less and less polite as I answered his questions less often and said more than once that I really should be paying attention to the instructor and not him. But Annoying Guy was persistent.

Over the following years there were countless other incidents where guys got the wrong impression because I was just being a naturally nice person. The worst was when I was at jobs where I worked with the public. Male customers would regularly mistake good customer service for being hit on. (If only they had stuck around long enough they would have seen that I treated everyone the same way!)

As time went on I began to feel less and less like being nice. Which I hated. I know I shouldn’t let others dictate my behavior but, yet, being myself got a lot of unwanted attention.

So, what is my advice to figure out if a girl is just nice or genuinely interested? Well, guys, watch how she interacts with other people. If she treats everyone the same way as she treats you, it’s probably because she’s just nice. But if she singles you out, that’s the sign you’re looking for. And if all else fails, just ask. I know it’s a big risk on your part but it could really payoff!


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