Can we stop calling weddings “the most important day of your life,” already?

thinkingjenncakeOK, I’ll admit it. I kind of like weddings. In most cases they are really happy occasions filled with love, dancing, and good food (three of my favorite things). Can’t beat that, right? I’m even happy to say that I’ve grown out of the bridesmaid age group so it’s even more enjoyable just being a guest.

But what I don’t like about weddings is the emphasis on this particular day being the most important in one’s life. I’m not even just talking as a singleton. I just think it’s silly to put so much pressure on one day (one that’s already kind of stressful for a lot of people) to be absolutely perfect and the most meaningful in a lifetime.

Because who has had a perfect wedding? I can’t think of a single one. Inevitably, something has “gone wrong” at every wedding I’ve ever attended. Anything from rain and overzealous flower girls to misbehaving mothers-in-law and drunk uncles who commandeer a microphone have happened and always will happen. It’s just the way things go when you get a bunch of people together with other unpredictable entities like children and the weather.

And in the span of the average human’s lifetime, one day (several hours if you want to be brutally honest) is a blip on the radar of about 78 years in the US. Do we really want one day (that often takes place in the first 3rd of one’s life) to be “it?” That was the most important day and everything else in secondary.

Why don’t we all agree that everyday is pretty important? Every commute to work. Every family dinner. Even every trash day. Every. Single. Day. Living is pretty important because we never know when we won’t be doing that, anymore.

I was thinking about this in the context of love, too: Love should grow. So, a wedding day should be a milestone. A starting point. Not the only most important or perfect day you’ll ever have. (Frankly, there will never be an absolutely perfect day.) The wedding day begins a wonderful life together so things should get better (albeit, often harder) from that point, not be less important in comparison.

So, let’s make everyday the most important day of our lives. I think that’s a better way to live and love. Then you can look back at that all the photos of your scowling mother-in-law, inebriated uncle, and hyperactive flower girl with a smile and a laugh instead of thinking your “special day” wasn’t perfect enough. Jenn

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