I hate spiders.
This extreme dislike is borderline arachnophobia. I once had a dream that there was a spider on the wall above my bed and I woke up standing in the middle of the room with my heart still pounding. I had sprung from my bed in fear while still asleep!
I’m pretty sure the entire population of arachnids is aware of this (possibly mutual) hatred. This is because they seem to seek me out at every available opportunity. Webs spring up overnight near the doorway of my office and more recently the horrible critters have decided to join me for my morning shower on more than one occasion. (Imagine a version of the shower scene in psycho where the knife is replaced by a spider repelling downward from the ceiling.)
Years ago, I was able to take advantage of a man in my house-be it my dad or brother-to vanquish the 8-legged foes. But, alas, being single means often facing the beasts alone. And-being squeamish-I have to devise a battle plan where in no way do I actually come in physical contact with the creatures. Not even dead.
And what are my weapons of choice? A can of Aqua Net and a vacuum cleaner with a very long attachment hose.
The method to my madness is that run of the mill bug spray never seems to do the trick. Spiders run and hide. The Aqua Net, however, freezes the little buggers in place just long enough to retrieve the vacuum. No physical contact and no squished bug guts on the wall or upholstery. Booyah!
But then I tell this story to anyone and they laugh hysterically. Go on. I know you want to laugh. 🙂