Just one question…


Last week I think I missed a memo or something. More people than usual suddenly began to ask me about my personal life and then all of them said something along the lines of: “You’re single? But you’re so nice/smart/mostly pleasant!” One person even said “He’s around the corner. I can feel it!”

(I suspect the conversation came up more often because it’s wedding season, actually.)

I wish I could have countered with a question of my own: If I’m OK with the fact that I’m single, why aren’t you? Because, well, I am actually OK with being single. It’s not that big of a deal to me after this many years. If it bothered me as much as it bothers others, I’d have married an ex-boyfriend out of desperation by now.

Yet when I told a married friend that I was OK with singleness she was appalled. She even told me that I’m way too young to think that way. (If anyone knows when I’ll be old enough, do tell.) The conversation went South very quickly because she thought I had lost my mind. Note to self: Make no such honest admissions to married friends.

Despite the fact that there are so many more single people now than there ever have been, it still baffles me that being single is open for commentary. One person even said to me “You must be so lonely!” (I’m not.) But I can just imagine that it might have made someone who is lonely pretty upset. Maybe even cry. That’s not very nice.

The fact that people seem to think single people need to be pitied or patronized (I tend to suspect the latter after last week) is so weird to me. Why do people feel the need to comment on other people’s lives like that? And to our faces no less? I think it could be really hurtful for someone who is not dealing well with their singleton status or might have just gone through a breakup.

I know we live in an age where you can comment on everything thanks to the internet. However, just because you can, it doesn’t always mean you should. Please, try to have a little more tact when talking to someone with a different lifestyle. Single or not.


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