When to run for the hills

file5801272130943Despite the fact that I always feel like I’m telling people to breakup with boyfriends/girlfriends, I also felt like this blog post needed to be written. A lot of people I know are putting up with a lot of junk that they don’t deserve in their relationships. And a lot of people I know need to get help before they “bring the crazy” into someone else’s life.

Here are my top reasons why you should not walk but run for the hills in a difficult relationship. If you’re considering marriage, this is the time to get out:

Violent tendencies. Even if he/she has never actually hit you, someone who has put his/her fist through a wall or broken every vase in the house out of anger is pretty much on the road to using you as a punching bag. (And scaring the hell out of your future children.) Get out of there (as of yesterday!) and don’t respond to his/her begging that you give him/her a second chance. That person needs help and they won’t seek it as long as you make life easy on him/her by sticking around.

Cheating. This person has made a pretty blatant statement that he/she doesn’t think you’re worth his/her loyalty. So, why are you putting up with this? Like the above scenario, it’s really difficult for a cheater to want to change if you’re putting up with his/her craziness. Leaving sends a very clear message that it’s not OK to cheat… just make sure you’re strong and stay away.

Addictions. These top three reasons all have the same thing in common: If you stay, you’re also enabling. This is especially true when you’re with someone who struggles with addiction. Your mere presence is an endorsement of that addiction so the most loving act you can do for your partner and yourself is to get out of there.

Everything is always your fault. You know when you try to have a discussion about something and all of a sudden you’re the “bad guy?” You’re walking on eggshells with this person because they flip out every time you try to have an adult conversation. So, it’s time to go. People who won’t grow or compromise are not worth your time.

Breakups are never easy. I get that. (And have had my fair share.) But just think: there is someone out there who will treat you so much better without making you feel like you are less than a person or out of your mind. When you meet him/her you’ll be a little angry at yourself for putting up with the crazy.

Jenn

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