Un-dateable: Mr. Monopoly


Ridiculously charming at first, Mr. Monopoly sweeps you off your feet almost from the moment you meet. Unfortunately, he soon holds all the cards in the relationship even though the only card he deserves is “Go directly to jail; do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

Mr. Monopoly may say you’re his girlfriend but really you’re one of his possessions. He wants to know where you are at all times and who else is there with you even if it’s just the cashier at the grocery store. He will probably text and call you a thousand times a day and especially when you’re out trying to have a good time with friends or family without him. It’s not that you didn’t ask him to attend, it’s that he knows he can’t keep up the good behavior in front of outsiders and decided not to attend.

This guy is dangerous because he tends to escalate arguments to physical altercations. He may apologize profusely afterward but the same thing happens always happens again. Mr. Monopoly doesn’t deserve a girlfriend and he certainly doesn’t deserve you.


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