As a (mostly) intelligent female I felt (mostly) qualified to answer that very question when it was posed to me this week. An acquaintance of mine said that some of her friends felt that she was smart and therefore “intimidating” to guys her age. She wanted to know if it was true.
To my fellow intelligent ladies, I’ll admit that it can be true. Sometimes. There are always going to be insecure people of both sexes who just won’t enjoy your company simply because you seem “better” than them at something. But these folks aren’t going to be in the majority.
Another issue could be that you just don’t have a lot in common with the guys you meet. Your intellect might mean that you don’t necessarily enjoy the same things the average dude likes. If you’re young (18 to early twenties) that can change once the guys mature a bit.
My other point to make, intelligent ladies, is that you really need to watch how you interact with guys and people in general. Sure, spouting off facts or correcting people might have been cute when you were 10-years-old but it’s not attractive in a grown woman. Guys you’re looking at as potential dates and even your friends will agree on this point.
I’m definitely not saying you should play dumb (never, never, never play dumb!) but I am saying that a dose of humility and consideration for others can go a long way. Maybe don’t correct someone else’s grammar or facts that aren’t necessarily life-threatening mistakes to make. And maybe avoid getting too technical about a subject with people who don’t know you well. (That can definitely be intimidating if they don’t know you’re not trying to show off.)
There is a thin line between being your confident self and sounding like a know-it-all but it’s definitely not an impossible balance. Just watch how people react to you and maybe ask your friends (or brutally honest siblings) to give some input. You’d be amazed how this little tweak in social skills can improve your relationships for the better.
Date on, intelligent ladies!