10 reasons why I couldn’t be a real housewife from any county

1) I’ve never been married. (I guess I could be my own housewife but what’s the fun in that?)

2 ) I won’t even put my face on my blog let alone television.

3) Pretty sure my upper body is not strong enough for flipping over tables.

4) My skin isn’t tan enough.

5) When I’m drunk I don’t get belligerent, I just fall asleep.

6) My idea of an argument is exchanging strongly worded letters.

7) My teeth don’t glow in the dark.

8) During the interview segments I’d say so many nice things about the other ladies that the producers would resort to chopping soundbites to get something juicy.

9) I couldn’t afford a boob job.

10) All my genteel, Italian relatives would be turning in their graves.


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