Un-dateable: Lady Broomhilde


(Her main mode of transportation is a broom)

Lady Broomhilde is usually pretty. She isn’t nearly as beautiful as The Model but similar to The Model she knows how to work the system by acting. Initially, she comes off as sweet because she really wants to make things work with you. In fact, she’ll probably pursue you and-because you’re a nice guy-you’ll be flattered and eventually give in.

Unfortunately, you see her true colors the first time the pair of you disagree on something or her best friend can’t make her birthday party. (Those true colors are shades of green like the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of OZ.) She has a short temper and likes to hold grudges for ages which is why she disposes of friends-including yours-like most people do expired milk. Oh, and you’re expected to hold grudges and completely ignore the people she’s excommunicated or you’re in big trouble.

Deep inside she may have “daddy issues” or abandonment issues (or whatever else one might have issues about). But all you know is that Lady Broomhilde has got a lot of them and needs a therapist, not a boyfriend.


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