‘Marriage Amnesia’

file6161313070963Did you know that wedding rings can cause amnesia? “Marriage Amnesia” is the term I coined (will it catch on?) for those folks who forget what it is like to be single once that wedding ring goes on.

What are the symptoms of “marriage amnesia?” You’ll know because these the friends who embrace all those single person stereotypes but after they wed. They will assume you have much more free time than they do “because you’re still single.” They will assume that your life is more exciting than a “boring married person.” This is all while they forget that they had been a singleton, too, only a few months ago and neither of those things were true at the time.

Other symptoms of the affliction often include:

  1. She complains to you (the single friend) about petty annoyances experienced in marriage that you-and everyone else-can’t imagine ever hating (i.e. “He thinks I want flowers every week!”).
  2. He tells you that you would never understand about problems ranging from having a busy schedule to what peanut butter to buy because you’re not married, too.
  3. She doesn’t invite you to events because you are single (all their new friends are couples and she thinks it might be awkward) but accidentally tells you about these events without realizing it might make you feel badly.

And “marriage amnesia” often takes effect immediately. I have been in the receiving line of not one but two weddings where the bride-beaming-whispered to me “You’re next!” It was as if she had suddenly gained the second sight. Both conveniently forgot that they had previously hated anyone saying anything like that to them and that I didn’t even have a boyfriend let alone a fiance. But I was next! (I wasn’t next, by the way.)

Do your married pals have “marriage amnesia?”

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