Prior to turning 30 (after 30, they pretty much gave up!) everyone and their grandmother seemed to have some comment or advice to help me get through my single “rut” into a fulfilling relationship with the man of my dreams. And whether or not I was feeling lonely or unfulfilled at that moment, I always came away from the conversation feeling a little inadequate.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and friends and know that they really just want the best for me. But there are some things that we single gals hear a dozen or so times and certainly could do without.
1) “Jesus/Paul was single.” It is a little difficult to put myself on the same plane as the Son of God and one of the authors of the New Testament. Definitely not a good comparison.
2) “You’re still young.” This one always seemed to come from someone who felt the need to console me. And then I would start wondering if I ought to be more sad about my singleness.
3) “He’s just not ready for you yet.” Often said with certainty as though in possession of some knowledge of things to come. But what if there isn’t a husband in my future?
4) “Have you tried eHarmony?” The answer is “yes” (I’d be curious to know exactly who has not in this day and age) and, as you see, it didn’t work out so well.
5) “So-and-so was married at 38.” It’s fairly common knowledge that people of a wide range of ages are getting married all the time. Thanks, though!
6) “You should meet my grandson/nephew/barber.” From personal experience this rarely turns out well. Unmarried grandsons/nephews/barbers tend to be the antithesis of marriageable material. My suspicion is that the person orchestrating the setup is hoping you’ll be a good influence and change them.
7) “Everyone’s single for a reason.” Translation: It’s because you’re weird. OK, I’m kidding! But you hear this enough times and you begin to believe you are some anomaly that needs analysis.
8) “Maybe you’re being too picky.” Translation: You really should have married my barber… even if he still lives in his mother’s basement. Again, kidding! But it does sound like they’re encouraging you to just marry the next guy who comes along with breathing as your only criteria.
9) “You’ll meet him when you stop looking.” Again, from personal experience, this isn’t always the case.
10) “Consider yourself lucky… Marriage is hard!” So says the person who doesn’t realize that being single is hard, too. Six of one, half a dozen of the other…
What are your favorite “comforting” phrases from your married friends and family?