10 things not to say to single friends

13829744910cvy6Prior to turning 30 (after 30, they pretty much gave up!) everyone and their grandmother seemed to have some comment or advice to help me get through my single “rut” into a fulfilling relationship with the man of my dreams. And whether or not I was feeling lonely or unfulfilled at that moment, I always came away from the conversation feeling a little inadequate.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and friends and know that they really just want the best for me. But there are some things that we single gals hear a dozen or so times and certainly could do without.

1) “Jesus/Paul was single.” It is a little difficult to put myself on the same plane as the Son of God and one of the authors of the New Testament. Definitely not a good comparison.

2) “You’re still young.” This one always seemed to come from someone who felt the need to console me. And then I would start wondering if I ought to be more sad about my singleness.

3) “He’s just not ready for you yet.” Often said with certainty as though in possession of some knowledge of things to come. But what if there isn’t a husband in my future?

4) “Have you tried eHarmony?” The answer is “yes” (I’d be curious to know exactly who has not in this day and age) and, as you see, it didn’t work out so well.

5) “So-and-so was married at 38.” It’s fairly common knowledge that people of a wide range of ages are getting married all the time. Thanks, though!

6) “You should meet my grandson/nephew/barber.” From personal experience this rarely turns out well. Unmarried grandsons/nephews/barbers tend to be the antithesis of marriageable material. My suspicion is that the person orchestrating the setup is hoping you’ll be a good influence and change them.

7) “Everyone’s single for a reason.” Translation: It’s because you’re weird. OK, I’m kidding! But you hear this enough times and you begin to believe you are some anomaly that needs analysis.

8) “Maybe you’re being too picky.” Translation: You really should have married my barber… even if he still lives in his mother’s basement. Again, kidding! But it does sound like they’re encouraging you to just marry the next guy who comes along with breathing as your only criteria.

9) “You’ll meet him when you stop looking.” Again, from personal experience, this isn’t always the case.

10) “Consider yourself lucky… Marriage is hard!” So says the person who doesn’t realize that being single is hard, too. Six of one, half a dozen of the other…

What are your favorite “comforting” phrases from your married friends and family?


6 thoughts on “10 things not to say to single friends

    • That is the ideal, isn’t it? 🙂 “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Maybe someday we’ll get to that point!

  1. Dearest Jenn,
    First off, I had laughed my head off and my dinner almost flew outta my mouth. Because I can’t wait to make this comment here, I am putting sticky beef remains all over my keyboard as I type. I so concur with you on every single one of these! I’ve been told some of these multiple times. I shall definitely share and will try to recall what statements had been said to me in the past (which I’ve tried to bury and not fly-kick the person who said it to me) to add to this list. But I think you’ve covered ’em very, very well and I just love this most. Oh, and I shall follow too, cuz you crack up, chickie! *Hugs*

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reblog! I am honored. 🙂 I think most of us singletons have been subjected to the same material at one time or another. Glad you got a chuckle out of it all! Looking forward to following your blog now, also!

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